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Happy Dawning 2024 guardians! I hope y'all have pleasant holidays!
#If you dont do anything is Okay too!#Personally I don't really like Christmas#destiny dawning#destiny ghost#generalist shell#the dawning tree “leaves” are a nightmare#I’m also working on a hk acrylic stand~ I hope it turns out well#destiny ghost shell#destiny 2#ghost shell#destiny#d2
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I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two
#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#injuries cw#bites and chews and gnaws on anyone who says buffy didnt love spike. BITES and CHEWS and GNAWS on them.#like is that not the whole point? of him? of his entire character arc? of his burning to ash as he breaks the sunnydale high school#(AKA buffy's personal cage within the slayer's cage that was sunnydale itself AKA the place where he and buffy first ever fought#and he nearly killed her for the very first time but was foiled by the immense love someone felt for her) as he breaks that place to rubble#in a way also very reminiscent of the first time they slept together and Literally Fucked A Building Down. anyway as he's doing ALL OF THAT#like sure she doesnt HAVE to love him she doesnt owe him anything and even if she did love isnt about obligation. but when buffy says#that she loves him in that scene. theres nothing to indicate that she doesnt feel it. that she isnt telling the truth.#idk man. people take a man who is dying telling someone not to love him as the gospel truth when i feel like its more ... like maybe he's#making a misguided effort to be kind? he's telling her ''dont get too hung up on the vampire thats about to catch on fire#and get your pretty ass out of here while you still can please.''#whatever. WHATEVER. in the perfect btvs that lives in my head most of ats isnt canon but esp the part where spike comes back and doesnt#immediately 1. ASK IF DAWN WAS OKAY 2. upon being told by angel that he cant be put in touch with buffy because [mumbles] misogyny?#go ahead and engage in a flirt campaign at harmony until she breaks down and calls buffy for him. those would be like the FIRST TWO THINGS#that spike did after he came back to unlife. first two things frfr#i'm gonna end the tag rant there. hmm
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
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pre-marination doobles. dont ask me questions
#pikmin 4#captain olimar#captain shepherd#moss (pikmin)#oatchi#I Dont Know what player character Im drawing lmao. probably not pom. maybe pom?#I just think itd be funny to have that guy in the rescue corps who literally nobody knows anything about. oh that? yeah the rookie#just picked em up last training session. they do anything we like em#but due to not having an actual head drawn inside it Ive been drawing their helmet slightly too small fskjdfhjd#but I think I should lean into it. our new guy's a little bit fucked up but we love them. no you cant have them#also akira slide for fun. olimar deserves it#Im sorry that u dont have time power that turns u into an absolute dandori beast old man. u can have this. I give u this#okay. now I go marinate meat. and then sleep#have a good night lads. dog can have a stick if they want to
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A wilting flower is not always beyond healing. It'll just take time.
#a small doodle! Just a little one! Wanted to draw but also didnt want to draw but also needed to draw#you know? idk if that makes any sense#dont mind me-#if anyone is worried I am okay please dont take this as some big vent or anything!#just art I needed to get out of my head. Ya kno??? nothin crazy!!!#anyway anyway im gonna go play a game or something!!! Drink water. Eat a snack! Sit down in some quiet for a moment#Yall should do that too! You! Drink water! Eat something! Sit and be calm for a moment.#welcome home oc#dandy leon#I always feel bad tagging my art of dandy alone with the welcome home tags??? uh-#my art#sketches
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watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird
#mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i saw people draw fanart of anya. pouring mouthwash on his exposed flesh? as punishment for failing her?#which okay. 1. i dont think shed like that. 2. are we seriously blaming curly for this more than. jimmy. the guy who DID IT?#like okay do not get me wrong. curly is to blame. he made terrible mistakes he did horrible things his inaction is inexcusable#he should have handled the situation better. if he couldnt 'take care' of jimmy (likely) he should have just at least#been there for anya. supported her and comforted her more than he did#im not saying any of it is untrue#hell the aus i saw where anya is angry with curly? where post-recovery shes genuinely mad and to a degree disgusted with him?#great! real! very reasonable! it makes sense it works its everything#but like. some of the people i saw were being straight up vile. for zero reason#'yeah curly deserves to be tortured and like skinned more by anya for closure because of what he did' HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO DID IT#WHY IS JIMMY GETTING LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION. ARE WE FORGETTING WHOS THE LITERAL ASSAULTER?#one of those people also said that if you ship anya and curly you should kys so uhhh not really taking that opinion seriously but. jeez#i dont ship them either for the record i just think telling people to die over it is a little excessive. thats the whole thing really#theyre being really excessive#on a similiar note i saw people say 'nobody on the ship is black and white in morality' and i agree with that about everyone BUT jimmy#for one simple reason. there is never ever a reason to rape someone. not EVER. everyone else has reasons. is complicated#and while jimmy is complicated too obviously that doesnt. like undeniably hes the worst. he is the worst because what he did is just#one of the only crimes that never ever has an explaination that means anything. its always evil
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a thing about rtd's era that i really really love seeing again is how he will usually wrap up the plot 10 or even 20 minutes before the episode ends and then the rest of that time is just dedicated to the characters talking to each other and dealing with their emotions and situations. like instead of a last minute win and a two minute goodbye they always get these massive spans of time to really get into everything emotionally and it always makes the episodes hit even harder
#this is rly on my mind since i just finished rewatching s3 too and like. the end of the#world plot wraps up in like 30 minutes the rest is just the characters talking to each other it's so good. houghhdgdgh#like they always leave so much time for everyone to just. HAVE CONVERSATIONS. and every#character has so many little things they do like for example martha calling up the ppl she#met during the year that never was.. like. you could say those scenes weren't necessary coz they#dont add anything to the plot and they really dont! we coulda spent that time on the Big Bad Villain. and yet it's a#much better use of that time because it makes everything feel so much more real#yes these ppl wont even remember meeting martha but here they are. they're okay and she cares abt them so much#same with the new ep like the plot ends at like minute 40 the rest is just them hanging out😭😭😭 it's so good....#doctor who#14th doctor#10th doctor#15th doctor#rtd#the giggle
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6. Yokai AU
#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs chuuya#bungo stray dogs dazai#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#skk#soukoku#inktober 2023#(No ones gonna understand what this means other than me since I have not mentioned anything about it)#(But thats okay haha)#(I love yokai au)#(Did you know I use to run a BSD yokai ask blog?)#(Do ask blogs still exist? Or am I too old)#(I wonder if theres any skk discords to join)#(I dont want to be the owner I can never keep a server alive)#(Okay okay enough of my rambling hahah thanks to anyone who even reads these tags)
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Zombie au stuff i think its funny that this is a zombie au off of feelings only becuz i havent drawn a single zombie for it yet LOL.
arthur amputation wound under the cut blabla whatever
#hetalia#hetalia england#hetalia france#francis bonnefoy#arthur kirkland#fruk#ukfr#zombie au#myart#tw amputation#cw amputation#cw stitches#i like drawing arthur almost naked#(lol)#this has nothing to do with anything but i hate that hetalia has like 10 billion different ways to be tagged#i just go with plain old hetalia and nothing else cause its easier#but like??? hws??? aph??? i dont wanna add that to every single hetalia related thing its annoying#some might have better reach than others but godddd#anyways#the first drawing is technically right before arthurs leg gets hacked off#they figure its better to be drunk so it wont hurt as much/be remembered as well#lol. but it works in other random zombie au contexts too so it doesnt rlly matter#shakes iggy I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SUFFER MORE#okay sorry. bye.#i love talking in tags
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just thought of a jegulus they both die at the end au and suddenly I'm thirteen again
#that fucking book was my everything at thirteen im sorry#but also i thought of james climbing into regulus' grave with him#because reg was terrified of dying and doing anything to make it happen faster than it was already happening#and then#AND THEN#it would be sad james too#and he'd spend the whole day being okay with it you know#but then by the end of the night when he knows his death is coming he realizing how badly he wants to live#but it's too late by then#like MAN#i love that shit#like it's absolutely horrible and awful#it's a tragedy but something about james finding a reason to Want to live is everything to me#anyway#i cant have a new wip#but i could write a tbdate au that's so fucking good#i dont even like the book anymore#but damn#anyways#i shouldn't have put this all in the tags#jegulus
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my honest reaction
#once again the trailer just kind of makes me feel nothing but confusion at why theyre doing things the way they are#why is gerald still alive. even if it turns out to be time travel or him being frozen alongside shadow or something#it still takes away a lot of the emotional impact of shadows story ... why .....#the fact that theyre just seemingly having gerald be rouge's replacement in the dark story trio too???? what. thats stupid .#and speaking of rouge. where are rouge and amy. ive never seen a single good argument to justify their exclusion here#why is the only girl character from the games whos present the one who famously dies horribly for male characters' motivation#(to be clear im not saying the way maria's death is handled in the games is bad writing or anything#just that having her be the only girl character to have a movie counterpart is certainly A Choice.)#and. why are team sonic (and human characters associated with them who are supposed to be the good guys) working with gun .#gun literally does nothing but cause problems for sonic in sa2 ?!?!?!??!?!#even if it does turn out theyre not being completely honest with sonic about what shadow's whole deal is thats still. why ...#i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but that doenst mean i have to be okay with every possible change they make either#especially when a lot of this stuff just actively makes the story worse. sa2 im so sorry they did this to you#honestly probably wouldnt bother me quite as much if this was a comic or tv show or something#and not . a big popular movie that is probably going to overshadow the game in a lot of peoples minds. ughhhh#also shadow has still only had a couple lines so maybe its not fair for me to say anything just yet#but i dont . really like how he sounds from what we've heard .. why did the ycast keanu reeves this sucks#idris elba as knuckles is starting to annoy me too tbh . like i didnt care for it at first but then it grew on me#and now im back to not really liking it . that is NOT knuckles#anyway. im honestly struggling to understand how so many fans of the games are uncritically excited about the movie ?#and dont have any problem with the writing choices being made here.. ?#do they just not care how shadow's story is portrayed as long as he looks cool doing it .. ?#im not saiyng the people who are excited are fake fans i just . dont get it
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Woe, MS paint diagram of the retroactive Komaedification of N be upon ye
#pokemon#danganronpa#sdr2#n#nagito komaeda#ryo expies#okay now the way i tag shit since i think tumblr only uses the first 5 tags still#dr#komaeda nagito#nagisa kaworu#zoroark#mine#devilman influence#<- if you dont understand why im tagging that look in the tag on my blog#AS ALWAYS if anyone has anything to add on please do#also yes believe me i know all 3 have appeared in so many other things too im just marking their earliest release date#for the sake of showing that n came before komaeda and then got komaedified after the fact#i possibly should have also circled the rib markings on h. zoroark cause komaeda is also canonically underweight from being so sickly#edit: n DOES actually start his battle sprite gif with his arms crossed which i missed before#but still. its extremely brief and i do feel like the pokemas crossed arms more resembles the komaeda sprite than the original n sprite#his original is more like... crossed over the chest?#anyways. i find it very funny that komaeda came out after but the devs were like oh fuck he suits n too well and we need to use that
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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day 251
so like remember when i said i was gonna be mentally ill about utena
#day 251#year 4#aradia megido#jade harley#homestuck#arajade#revolutionary girl utena#so this is a wip but i dont have the time or energy to finish it today unfortunately#i do plan to finish it at a later date tho#this isnt really meant to be like#a fully realized au or anything#utena doesnt seem like the kind of thing that lends itself super well to this kind of au?#like the kind where you slot other characters into the roles or the setting of the og series#the characters that exist in it are too integral to the like. Point of the thing. to me at least#BUT there are some themes that cross over really well#into the things i find the most most most interesting about aradia and jade and the differences between them#and how they cope with an environment that attacks their agency and like. responsibility. and resisting the established narrative. and. and#and okay TBH? yeah i drew jade in the rose bride fit. but frankly i could say some shit about EITHER of them in either role.#the themes are absolutely there like theres a connection im making in my brain here i swear im just struggling to articulate it#maybe once i finish the drawing i will have finished my rgu arajade thoughts as well.
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something something the window in light & night is a mirror and its all just been Whole looking in a mirror thinking about himself/his brain
#souls the only one that can see him too#cos 1. hes technically whole missing his heart & mind so he'd be able to see his whole self through it#But mainly 2. eyes are the window to the soul or something yk yk#“I want to see your eyes looking back and into mine” yk yk yk?#planning animatics in my head that ill never do [as you do]#& the visual of very stark differences of the black white & grey of hms singing#then suddenly swapping to whole by himself in front a mirror in like his room or bathroom idk wherever mirrors exist#like during the bit when Whole sings in Light. thats why its much quieter & isolated#and cos Soul joins in the next verse & sings with Whole. thats him seeing Whole again.#then them all overlayed on each other in the end of the video is the whole mirror with them all. if that makes sense#im franticly typing this cos im busy but i dont wanna lose thought#its prolly already been thought of but idk#windows are cool#i was planning a hms art with a window so. i was thinkin about window lore#chonnys charming chaos compendium#moss post#chonny jash#if anythings misspelled. shhhhh im typing fast okay#did you guys know i love light & wholes part in light & the parallels in everything
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